'Soshari'

I was privileged enough to to able to go a boarding secondary/high school where liberties were given with regards to afternoon extracurricular activities. In terms of these activities, a weekly quota needed to be met in addition to few fixed commitments depending on the time of the year. However, given that this was achieved, the remaining time available could be spent as the individual(s) wanted, within reason. In my particular year group, from the shared spare time between different individuals in the different boarding houses, 'Soshari' emerged, and in fact I think its safe to say that it became somewhat of a culture for us.

Let me take a step back and try to explain what 'Soshari' actually was. Put simply, it was a varied group of young men playing football/soccer together almost daily, rain or shine, having a common interest and finding shared safety in that. It was a way of escaping the boarding houses, not only because it wasn't fun hanging around there, but also because the alternative of playing football with friends was a far more appealing one. The number of people who attended always varied, and there existed an assorted skill set within the group as I suppose would be expected. I was not one of the regulars, I did attend occasionally though and always enjoyed bonding with my peers when I did. However, I remember often finding it difficult to play with my friends, as accepting as they were. A lot of them were really gifted, they could weave the ball between their legs at a stand still and many of them while in motion too; I was and still am simple, incapable of such fluidity! They made the game artistic and beautiful almost dancing as they played; I was and still am awkward, always fighting to keep in control of my extremities. They were fit and strong, I was weak. They knew the game, I was learning. They were committed, I was always only passing through. Having said that, when you played you belonged, regardless of ability and despite sometimes being in the bottom pick when it came to team drafting! Because I belonged, when I could overcome my personal pride, I went and played and often enjoyed it.

I have never been a good footballer or soccer-player, and I think at the age of 23 its high time I accept that I never will be! Hopefully I will get better so that if I ever have to play with my own children, I won't embarrass them!!

I thought about soshari for the first time in a while yesterday, when for the first time in years I played social football/soccer, this time with some men from church. I only knew two of the 22 that were present and I can happily say that I never felt unwelcome. It did however leave me feeling nostalgic, hence the tone of the post.

I am reminiscing, so there are no personal learnings in here for me to share, as I have done in the past. The two things I would say are this: Pride that hinders, as a result of one not being the best (which by many definitions is what pride is) should be at least challenged, and at best eliminated. The second is that we need to understand and sometimes painfully accept our limitations; its good to dream and to dream big, I am an advocate of this, submitting all such dreams to God, but I think it would be a waste in my case for example, if I was holding out for a career in football! Men are not born with equal gifts, passions, abilities or identical callings. Some sing, some teach and some dance etc of which even in these there are stark and fundamental differences such as style, subject, genre etc. I suppose the idea is to do what God calls you to do. Figuring this out, or hearing the call isn't always simple. Indeed I am still waiting. In addition, in the event that I had been dreaming about being a footballer, while I was waiting to hear otherwise this knowledge doesn't make me not being good at football/soccer any easier to accept, but it gives reason to keep on searching, and earnestly too. I am on a tangent and touching on a subject that I intend to share on soon. Please be aware that that many dreams that seem impossible aren't necessary against calling, for truly if God wanted me to be a footballer, and I was listening to Him, I would become a footballer.

Will I play again? I hope so! I am not after all trying to change or make my life with it, I am just hoping to have a good time and hopefully learn a thing or two.

I hope one day also to play Soshari with my friends again as men, hoping that as before and experienced yesterday there will be no bias and no inequality. Just old friends remembering what brought them together initially, enjoying every moment of it and appreciating what keeps them together still.