Hope - Rescue Me.

'I keep on losing,
the same old battles,
can’t get a grip of this thing we call life.
Drowning in weakness,
habits and choices,
they keep staring me down,

I know what I should do,
but I don’t,
and the things I do,
I know are wrong..'

I decided to begin this post using the start of one of my favourite songs, 'Rescue', by a band called Authentik. I absolutely love this song, its real and I believe it is forever true for us all, one way or another. I hope that you, the reader, won't hold anything against me for borrowing the words of others in an attempt to find my own.

These words describe where I am at, as an individual boy-man, as a believer in Christ and all His teachings, as a brother, friend and Son. I believe in God and love Him, but my actions and thoughts don't always support or work with the lifestyle this belief warrants. I adore my siblings, and am committed to my friends; however my behaviour and occasionally empty or unfulfilled promises do not reinforce this. I have gotten this far and achieved all I have through the steadfast love, support prayers and guidance of my parents yet I oft dishonour them, and don't give them the place in my life they deserve. I will keep trying though I am sure that I will get better!

This is probably not the best time, but I will respond to another comment I received, again via this forum. After my first 3 posts, I was talking to a very dear friend, who is following (unofficially) my attempts at blogging and relating my experiences and thoughts. I was sadly caught off guard when I was told or rather informed that my first three posts had been void of hope or enthusiasm for life, and that this may be a way some of those who read may interpret my words, having them almost supporting this state of hopelessness, or catalysing its manifestation in the lives and minds of the readers. This was and is never my intent, and whilst a part of me can see where the comment came from (ish), I must make it clear that that is not what I am selling if anything at all. If it got or gets to a stage where my words were stealing hope from those who care to read them, I would and will stop.

The truth of the matter is that life is not always going to work out as we want. We wont always get things right, or consistently get what we want, if at all. The will face mishaps and hiccups, speed humps and speed traps. All of which, make up the experience of life and characterise our own individual journeys'. There will be times when we are sad, and all seems lost... when bad things happen, and faith is far... or simply hard. In all things I urge you all to hope. To continue to hope for a better and brighter day knowing the night is indeed darkest before the dawn! (And yes I got that from batman!)

I have joined together two different things in this post! It doesn't read great, but I hope what I am trying to say is being communicated, even if poorly so!